Ramblings on Psalm 16

This psalm is such an encouraging one for me. It always reminds me of where I was and how far I have come in the Lord. Having made life choices that kept me apart from God for so long I truly experienced many of the sorrows of running after other gods. During that time in my life especially high school and college I experienced many things but looking back on them few were what I would consider good things. I certainly did not feel secure or safe and I was always looking to fill some hole that I felt acutely. I was worried and lived much of my life in fear. Fear of harm, fear of rejection, fear of people finding out who I really was inside and knowing how weak and scared I was.

After finding the Lord I have a very clear before and after moment in my life and I can say with honesty that my feelings of security and safety began in the after mark. In God I can find refuge and safety even when the world and circumstances around me are crazy. I recall the way that I reacted to the crisis of September 11th. Two small children at home, a husband traveling in the East Coast and so much of my family in New York City. I think I would have crumbled without the strength the Lord gave me. Without his refuge and the confidence of his peace I can not imagine how I might have handled or rather not handled things.

All of this is easy for me to see and acknowledge what is hard is living out the verses:

"LORD, you have assigned me my portion and my cup, you have made my lot secure.
The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance."

During times of trial or even day to day drudgery it can be hard for me to be thankful for my portion and my cup. It is hard when the world seems to crumble around us through the choices our culture and others make. It is hard to remember that we are secure, even if not from bodily harm surely we are secure in what truly matters. Our inheritance is secure and our eternal life with God is what I should care about. I do care about it - yet at times it is easy to get caught up in all the details of life and lose sight of the bigger picture. In realizing how blessed my life is and how truly pleasant God has made this life for me, nevermind how much more wonderful eternity will be.

I know I need to remember to always set the Lord before me and then take confidence in that. I know when I live my life with "God-confidence" the confidence that I am putting him first and trying my best to follow his will than I can take confidence in my decisions even when the world around me doesn't understand or agree with it.

Having kids and wanting to pass this on to them makes me want to live my life this way all the more. I truly want my kids to know that they need always to put God first and then have confidence in His promises and his word. Using that confidence we can face anything without being shaken for we know that God is at our side.

Knowing that and living it are two different things though. It begins with a knowledge of this but it must be implemented with daily small and big choices. So I carry on and try to do my best each day.

For me the heart of this psalm lays in the understanding and accepting and living out that I need to take refuge in the Lord, accept the path and portion he has set before me and live that out with the confidence that my eternal inheritance is secure and I will rejoice and be filled with joy in Him.

Thanks for reading my ramblings.
Kellie-Ann