Back to Ps 16

Welcome Kato,
I read and reread your post, trying to get a feel for what you were saying. Glad you liked the psalm. Sorry to hear of your distant feeling from God. That coupled with your discontent reminds me of a time in my life when God seemed so far away and all I had to hold onto was the truth that He loved me and had rescued me. That particular time was several years long and in the end I was more certain of Him and His work in my life, but in a way that was different than before. So don't give up, hang in there and keep on listening to Him, reading His revelation of Himself and praying to Him (but not at the Church of the really shy person).

The discontent may also be from God leading you to a deeper place with Him. If we are satisfied, how will we desire more of Him? I, too, am feeling the dissatisfaction with my life, my church and the people around me. I know that "this" is not all there is, but am unsure at this point of how to find the rest...but I am doing what I know is good-studying and reading God's Word, talking to Him, obeying what I know to be His commands....and trusting Him. He loves me and I know He will direct me.
From Ps 16: have set the LORD always before me.
Because he is at my right hand, I will not be shaken. If I keep God firmly in the forefront of my vision, I will not move off the path, nor will I become so unglued as to bail on the faith. This is a comfort to me, knowing I can question, argue and fuss about what is happening but God will remain faithful so long as I do not move from Him...Keeping Him at my right hand denotes being close, at a place I can hear Him clearly, see His face and be in His presence.

Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices; my body also will rest secure,
because you will not abandon me to the grave, nor will You let your Holy One see decay.
You have made known to me the path of life; He has made known-HE has given us the knowledge-not wishes, feelings, hopes, but knowledge, which is certain. To the path of life...that is what we know now....in the future is the joy in His presence as indicated in the rest of the sentence. you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand. Our life is here and in the future, the now and the not yet....perfection comes after death, after time here (unless we remain till He comes again). The most difficult aspect of the walk of faith is the faith part....waiting, holding firm, hoping, gritting my teeth while evil is celebrated and goodness is bashed. We will always see glimpses of the future reality, but now we hold it by faith. There remains the TRUTH that is more reliable than the earth on which we stand, the sun we see in the sky and the sensations we feel, with our fingers. Truth remains and will never fail us, that is my relief, rest and secure place.